Someday, when I'm the Queen of Everything, I'm making some major changes around here.
First, the will be no more snow in April, especially the four or so inches that I had on my lawn this morning. The way I see it, there are four seasons, they can each have three months. I figure our first day of sunshine, daffodils and 60 degree temperatures should be March 1st. (March 1st people! Not May 1st!)
Second, Moms will require no more than 6 hours of sleep for optimal functioning. Interrupted sleep counts. In fact, while I'm at it, let's declare it a rule that kids won't even be able to bug their parents between the hours of 11 pm and 7am.
Teething? Let's just do away with it all together. Baby teeth will appear easily and painlessly.
No one will be required to do anything that necessitates any kind of brain function before 9 am.
Baby poop will no longer be the neon yellow shade of, well, baby poop. And it will be easy to remove if it accidently gets on, say, your white duvet cover.
Laundry? It will come with a self-cleaning feature.
The hours between 5pm and 7pm will hereby be the calmest and quietest hours of the day.
It will be good to be queen.
How about you? What are you changing when you're in charge of the world?
Beatrice's big weekend, details.
1 week ago