Thursday, February 24, 2011

My new get rich quick scheme

So I have an idea.

It's brilliant.

It's going to make me a fortune!

Here's how it goes: every time a doctor or and kind of medical professional utters the words "It's very rare" they have to pay me $5.  That's it.  Simple as that.

Because in my household, rare is what we do.

Take me for example:  I have a neurological condition that affects 1 in 100,000 women.  Pretty good odds, right?

Then I gave birth in the car.  I think the odds on that are around 1 in 300.

Max has craniosynostosis, a condition that affect approximately 1 in 4,000 babies.  After surgery #1, he had a very rare complication. Then he was one of the lucky 5% that has to have more than one operation. Then he had the same very rare complication again. I'll leave it up to you brilliant math people to figure out those odds.

Then there's all the other Max Medical Drama.  I shake my head at the craziness of it all, and all the times we were told "Well, this is really unexpected."  or "This complication is very rare." 

But we've been doing good for a few months.  I was the only one who managed to get myself hospitalized, and I got a baby out of it, so that was good.

Even Ashlynn getting strep throat last week didn't phase me much. 

What did worry me was when the baby spiked a fever Saturday night while my husband was in Vegas.  I'll give you a hint: never google "Fever in a 3 month old" at 3 o'clock in the morning when you're up with a crying baby and your husband is in another state.I waited until morning to call my pediatrician who told me we were safe to wait it out at home as long as nothing got worse. I thought we were out of the woods by Sunday night when my husband was home and Ian's fever started to go down.

Unfortunately, his coughing and breathing kept getting worse, and yesterday morning, his fever was back, and so off to the pediatrician we went.

A fever in a barely 3 month old is usually cause for concern anyway, but a fever plus a rattling cough is bad news.  Honestly, I was prepared to be sent to the hospital overnight.  It didn't help my confidence any when the doctor heard Ian cough and said "I hope he doesn't have whooping cough."

She listened to him, checked his ears and eyes, and then looked at me and said "You know, I'm going to run a strep test just in case.  It would be extremely rare for a baby this age to have strep, but just to be on the safe side..."

Five minutes later, she cam back to tell me that my three month old did indeed have the first case of strep she'd ever seen in a baby this young.  Incidentally, this is twice we've given the pediatrician something she's never seen before.  And she's not a brand new doctor.  Yes, we're all about the education opportunities here. (Maybe I should be charging for those too...)

The doc also wrote us a prescription to have Ian's nose suctioned a few times this week so that he can breathe and so that we might all be able to sleep again.  Both times I've been to the hospital these past two days, everyone who find out Ian has strep has said "That's so rare!  I've never heard of that before!"

I'm telling you, I'm already planning the giant house, the tropical vacations, the hired help...

(And I'm already planning on the other two kids getting strep as well.  Because that's just how we roll...)

(And if you're wondering, I am actually feeling better.  Now that I know that my baby doesn't need to be hospitalized, I'm actually glad it was strep throat because it's so treatable!  A shot of penicillin later and my baby is back to his happy, smiling, snotty self.  Thank heavens.)


  1. Seriously girl, you should write a book. Glad it wasn't serious.

  2. Congratulations on your medical uniqueness. :)Hope EVERYone is feeling better soon.

  3. You do seem to have the market on it all. I'm sorry Ian was so sick, but SO glad it was "just" strep. Hallelujah!

  4. Step is not fun, however, it could always be worse, right?

    Hope you are well!!!

  5. You will be rolling in the dough!

    Best wishes to little Ian.

  6. Poor little guy! I hope he's feeling all warm and fuzzy now!

    I'm definitely not a "rare" as you, but we had enough cases of "rareness" that I could probably build a modest house nest door to you. :D

    Hope everyone is feeling better!


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