To my kids, in honor of Mother's Day

Dear Abby~

You made me a mom for the first time.  You taught me what unconditional love meant as I held you, nursed you, rocked you and paced the floor for hours on end.  You taught me to slow down- that afternoons spent nursing, rocking, reading, and napping were more important than anything else.  You taught me to parent with my gut, because you had no intention of following a schedule, a routine, or some child raising manual that you had never seen.  You've put up with me as we've stumbled through this first-time parenting/first child gig together.  I've watched you grow as a musician, friend, sibling, and I'm so proud of how much you want to do what's right and how you work to please everyone.  You have so much love and happiness in your heart, and I'm so proud of the person you're becoming.

Dear Ashylnn~

From the suprise positive pregnancy test, to your surpise entrance into this world on the side of the freeway, you've always kept us on our toes.  When you were a baby, you helped teach me how to manage with less sleep, energy and patience than I thought I could.  You help us to laugh, and see how beautiful the little thigns are. You're quick to throw your arms around us when we're sad or frustrated, and you're so full of love.  One of my favorite parts of being a mom are the love notes, cards and drawings that you leave in unexpected places.  Just this morning, you told me how much you love surprising people and making them happy, and I see that everyday.  You are so talented and will make many people happy in your life. 

Dear Max~

You are my miracle son, in so many ways.  Just when I thought that I was done having children and my life was complete, you came along and taught me how much I was missing.  I was terrified to have a son, worried that I would damage you for life, but now I spend my days tripping over balls of all shapes, sizes and varieties, and wondering what I was so afraid of.  Because of you, I can speak medical-ease with the best of them, and have had more than one doctor question if I have a medical background. Putting you through two extensive surgeries was the hardest thing I've ever done as a parent, and I still get teary-eyed thinking about it, but I look at you and know that we made the right choice.  You make us laugh everyday; you've taught me not to take myself or any one situation too seriously.  You are charming, observant, loving.  We can't wait to see the man that you grow up to become.  

Dear Ian~

Oh my sweet baby, you have taught me that sometimes the sweetest blessings come at the most unexected times.  We had no idea how much our family needed you until you were here, and now we are whole; complete.  You are the easiest baby that I've ever known, and your grins and giggle melt the hearts of everyone around you.  I love the way your face lights up and your whole body wiggles when you see me- it never fails to make me smile, no matter how difficult the night has been.  I love curling up to your little body at night.  I love nourishing you with my milk, and the special time we are able to share together.  I promised myself I would cherish your babyhood, and it's all going by much too fast.  Can you stay little?  Just for a while?

My dear children, I am so blessed to be your mother.  Even when I'm elbow deep in poopy diapers.  Even when I yell.  Even when I trip over two of you trying to cook dinner in our tiny kitchen.  Thanks for teaching me, for changing me.  For making me a mother.