Sometimes We Wonder

Sometime we wonder if anything we say gets through to our beautiful, talented, somewhat airheaded eight year old daughter. This is an actual conversation that took place at my house.  Names have not been changed to protect incriminate the guilty.  

Mom: Abby, it's time to take a shower.

Abby: But Mooooooooooooom, (insert whine, eye roll and foot stomp here,) I just took a shower yesterday.  Why do I have to take another one?

Mom: (Insert sigh.  We have this discussion every. single. night.) Because Abby, you stink.  You're dirty.  You need to go get clean.

Abby: But I hate showers.  How can I stink?  I just took a shower.  I hate showers.  (Insert teary eyes.)

Mom:  (Tired of aruguing)  Abby, go take a shower.

Abby stomps up the stairs, dawdles in her room, turns on the water, dances naked in front of her mirror, waits five minutes for it to "heat up" and then finally takes the torturous shower, all the time singing awful second-grade Christmas songs at the top of her lungs.  The water turns off, and Abby comes down the stairs, stark naked and shivering.

Abby: Mom, do I have to put on clean underwear?

Mom: (exasperated...) Yes, of course you do Abby.

Abby: But I just put on clean underwear yesterday! 

Mom: (proceeds to bang head against the wall...)

Just tell me that she'll eventually grow up to be a productive, showered, non-stinky, clean underwear-wearing member of society someday, please!