Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Instruments of torture

Today, my third grader came running in the door from school, literally bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Mom!  MOM!  Guess what I got at school today?"  She proudly showed me one of these little gems.

I tried to mask my lack of enthusiasm. 
"That's great, honey, why don't you-"

At that point, I was interrupted by a screech somewhere between a shrieking whale and a dying clarinet.

"I learned the note 'c' today, Mom, listen!"

More dying animals.  Dogs in the neighborhood started howling.

(Now, let me reassure you at this point that I am in no way making fun of my daughter's lack of musical abilities.  On the contrary, today we had a very productive practice session working on the Vivaldi concerto in g minor.  What I am saying is that if you can find me someone that can make a $1.25 plastic, made in China recorder sound like something even remotely pleasant or musical, I'll play the darn thing in the 3rd grade program myself!)

"And Mom!"

I gulped, certain I didn't want to hear what was coming next.

"My teacher says I need to practice every day!  I guess I have another instrument to practice in the morning, right?"

Yeah, because violin scales at 7:00 am aren't enough.


  1. I have actually heard people play the recorder well, but I've never been able to do it. I have one around here somewhere (I had to try and learn it as part of my music education classes for elementary education). Last Christmas the kids' grandmother (husband's mom) got them each a recorder but they were all broken within a week because the boys used them as weapons (and I didn't stop them!).

  2. Oh, man! Couldn't you let the teacher know that Abby is covered in the musical education department and opt out of learning the recorder? ;)

  3. Oh great!! Savannah's class starts learning their recorders after the Christmas break. Thanks for the heads-up! The wonderful recorder music will be the perfect follow-up to all the lame-o christmas songs I've been bombarded with the past month!!

  4. Mmmm. Precious. My uncle plays recorders very beautifully. I think it's because they're made out of wood, and sound like something you should hear in a misty Irish field...

  5. LOL - yet another reason to homeschool... :D Good luck, my friend! (I hear cotton balls work well as ear plugs...)

  6. I would have thought homeschooling would protect us from the recorders. Then my daughter opened her Christmas gift from Nana. I'm feeling a little nervous this will take away from her enthusiasm for practicing her flute. She says, "Mommy! The recorder is even easier to play than the flute!" Oh, dear.


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