It's been in the high 90s for the past week or so, I'm 20 weeks pregnant, and our house has no air conditioning. By 2:00 in the afternoon, I feel like a great big puddle of pregnant goo. All I want to do is lay on the couch with three fans pointed at me and alternate reading a good book with taking naps all afternoon. Unfortunately, this doesn't play out well when you have three children.
My girls are also full of the blahs. Their cases present with a pathological desire to watch "Phinneas and Ferb," play Wii all day long, bicker with each other constantly, and argue with everything I say.
Needless to say, we're all getting on each other's nerves.
I wonder if my kids will ever pick up their clothes and wet towels without nagging, begging, threatening or reminding, and I just as often worry that I can't possibly be saving money for their shrink bills fast enough.
This parenting gig is hard work. Its been especially hard lately as I struggle to be a good mom despite pregnancy exhaustion, juggling three kids, and my own massive faults.
This past week or two has served as a magnifying glass for me- making my shortcomings as apparent as a zit under flourescent lighting.
I know I've been here before- there are lows just as there are highs, and I have to ride through the one in order to enjoy the other. I know that my kids aren't going to die from being yelled at, and I won't die from wet towels left on the floor.
And I also know that if things in our home are going to change, it's up to me to make the changes.
It sucks to be the grown-up sometimes.
You know that sigh? That one that means, Oh, sista, I hear you? That one? I'm doing it. Right now.
ReplyDeleteWho isn't doing it RIGHT NOW! Remember my post about wanting to stomp the floor and swear? If I had prefaced it with your post people would have known why - except for the being pregnant part. Knowing that there needs to be change and knowing that there ain't nothin' gonna change without Mom heading it up can be daunting. Good morale and God's blessings to us all!!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure why it feels so HARD sometimes to just dial everything up a notch, take over and make a change. But it does. And once we get up the energy to actually start, it usually goes downhill from there and we glad we did. Good luck. I know the feeling.
ReplyDeleteHard times have been my companion for ths summer, with classes I had to take and homework I had to do. Yuck.
ReplyDeleteAnd we all get a bit irritated at each other. I must admit that getting central air two years ago has made a difference though. Sorry :(
Love that pic!!
ReplyDeleteYes, the nerves, the blahs, wanting to leave the house to just get out, but with 115 degrees blazing down, nothing sounding good. Until we came up here to our family cabin. Now *this* is summer for us (at last!).