Thursday, September 2, 2010
I didn't hesitate to tell her I wasn't due until December, and would have enjoyed watching her hem and haw if I wasn't wondering if I had somehow blown up to the size of a blue whale when I wasn't looking.
It was just one more on a growing list of eveidences that I am, in fact, going to have a baby.
I know, right? Shouldn't this have sunk in, oh, about the time I got a positive pregnancy test?
You'd think so, wouldn't you?
I think I've adjusted to the idea of being pregnant. Now the idea of that pregnancy actually leading to a real baby? Yeah, not so much.
Four. Four kids. It just seems like so many. I'm going to be seriously outnumbered.
I have lots of friends with four kids. Most of them have an oldest child the age of my middle daughter. They do great with four. They handle everything with grace and style. I'm not sure how well it's actually going to work out for me.
I'm mildly hyperventilating at the thought of parenting four kids, including my toddler terrorist and a newborn. I don't deal well with chaos, and I've been having viscious flashbacks from the six months of hell that was Abby as a toddler with Ashlynn as a newborn.
Don't get me wrong. I love this little person, and I'm looking forward to meeting him or her and adding them to our family. I have little doubt that a year or two from now, I'll wonder what I was so worried about. But nights like tonight, when Tom is in class late, the girls are alternating between bickering and singing stupid Cub Scout songs at the top of their lungs, and the toddler launches his uneaten bowl of chicken noodle soup across the kitchen that I wonder how I'll handle fitting the inevitable screaming newborn with the diaper blowout to the mix.
Once again, I'm finding myself glad that it takes nine months to cook a baby. Because while I may look like I'm ready to have a baby, it might take a few more weeks for me to actually be ready to parent four kids.
Moms of four or more, tell me it's easy. Tell me that the transistion didn't rock your world to the core. Lie if you have to.
PS- This new school/teaching/practicing/being pregnant schedule is kicking my butt. Hoping to get back into a good posting groove soon.